I have been away for so long. here is a list of things that have been a-happenin'
1. I work as a custom framer. This involves not only the custom framing of bad art and shitty posters....but also i get to listen to shitty customers complain about how expensive it is to frame something...as if i control prices....
Take your crap-ass "Scarface" poster and stick it up your ass....your sphincter would make a better frame anyways.
2. My loud puerto rican neighbors finally got evicted. No more overhearing fights about (and i quote from one of their finest fits...) "...im not eva beggin' you to fuckin sit on my face, slut!"
3. i painted a portrait of abe lincoln naked with a giant schlong balancing on a wheel of cheese holding a daisy and a steak knife....Tennille H. Dog is afraid of it, and she can't keep her eyes off it....neither can i....Abe Lincoln gets me hotttt!
4. I love the sarah Silverman program!!!!
5. someone jumped off the bridge on route niner yesterday...onto the ice....thus forcing me to sit in traffic on said bridge for a good half hour.....
6. i learned how to play "old joe clark" on banjo...
7. i gotta go...my time has just about run out. ( library computers on a sweet 48 minute timer....nice round number)
its cold. i hate that. i hate being cold. we heard gunshots right outside our building the other night. then a paddy-wagon drove past. and people ran. last night a guy that looked young but when he turned around was actully really old was digging through our dumpster for bottles. and cans. after an hour-long search, he proudly emerged 15 cents richer. me and the mycohl have decided to start a band called "Balboa". We're going to cover the songs from Rocky IV. i have to drive my grandmother to the doctors today. they sewed her eye shut. now she's Columbo. i gotta go. its cold. and i hate that.
Whats more devilish than three adults wearing grease-makeup, and capes, groaning and growling along to the blackest Black Metal, surrounded by candles, calling verse from the Necronomicon to get a record player to work (and it so very devillishly did), whilst watching the Full House on the T.V.?
two weekends ago mycohl, randi and i drove home from a weekend in upper-righthand-side NH. On the way home we saw a cloud formation that looked like an arm reaching out and grasping a penis. My camera-phone failed to capture the picture...but it was beautiful. and funny even, and im sad that i cannot share the image with you.
Last weekend, mycohl and i went back to the NH. Upon waking one morning, mycohl looked in the 'fridge for a beverage....my four-year-old niece says "why dont you have a beer?"....mycohl replys..."naw i think i'll have a lemonade"...and she inturn says: "lemonade is for girls."
lemonade....IS for girls. I have a faggot boyfriend. cant handle a beer at 8a.m.???
here are another shit-ton of pictures from work...while we should be working....but werent...because im the boss, and what i say goes:
get ready for the image-loading adventure of the century....for those of you with dial-up:
So...the Apple G5 at work was stolen. So we got uhhh i think its the same thing....but this one is way more awesomer!!! It has crazy features on it...way too many to list, and it makes me want to break in on the weekend and steal it before that crack head strikes again.
It has a thing called "Photobooth". And whats a better way to waste through a day at work? Thats right: taking ridiculous pictures on said program.
Sorry this is a repeat of what i posted on myspace...but its so very funny and awesome!!!
When i was a young girl, there was this movie called "The Worst Witch" (not to be confused with the HBO series that came years after the movie) about a young witch (played by Farusa Balk at age 11ish) who sucked at witching....yadda yadda, ....it was my favorite, and still is....mostly because of this awesome musical montage below with Tim Curry as "The Grand Wizard":
sorry...im pretty much computer retarded, and cant get it to post or whathaveyou. and so im gonna go kill myself.
the extended version you can find on myspace also. very jazzy.
and now here are some ads from work that i contributed suitable text to:
very classy.
Basically thats what we do here at Mykonos Aegean Imports Ltd. Make fun of all the ancient shit laying around, and play a game wherein Caitlin, a girl with whom i work, tries to take pictures of my boss without her knowing. I've successfully snapped two pictures in the past, but never the Money Shot....shes like the elusive Yeti....in so many ways.
i hope caitlin's pictures are closeup, personal, and horrifying.
this morning an old man security guard told me about the Korean War as i waited for the train to boston. He said that Korea smelled like "a geriatric ward, ya know with all the urine, and feces and smell of old skin"
He was no "spring chicken" himself. Anyhooters: he said you could "smell a chinese a mile away...very putrid smelling people" he told me about this shit they eat called "Kimpsup"...i tried to look it up....i think he meant "kimchi"...although it seems kimchi, may have been a bit adapted over the years....regardless, Kimpsupchi is cabbage hollowed out and filled with rice and mussels, or shrimp, and then buried in the ground to ferment....and then they dig it up dust off the dirt, and eat it.
if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear if it makes a noise...
does it rock out hard judd judd juddjuddjud judd judd judda judd like as motha fucka on an electric guitar and scream SLAYER [mmRRREEEEERRRRrrrooowww!] songs until someone actually is around to hear?
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boomdittyfoom's journal
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